When Family & Friends Aren't Supportive

This can be very difficult for a pregnant woman wanting to go down the freebirthing avenue rather than birth at home with a midwife or have a birth centre/hospital birth.

Even the tiniest ignorant comment can bring a lot of stress and emotional upset to the woman at a time where she should be able to enjoy her unassisted pregnancy.

There are a few options.

Educate them about freebirth

You can try educating the unsupportive persons on homebirth and freebirth. If you have issues with previous birth experiences, you can bring that up and discuss with them how it was wrong for you and your baby.

Sometimes family/friends will use previous birthing experiences as 'proof' that your choice is wrong, dangerous, risky or irresponsible. For example a "But you bled a lot last time" could be attributed to an interference with your birth process - something that would be avoided in your freebirth. That could be explained along with reassurance that you are well-prepared to handle any birth complications should they occur eg. placenta eating and tinctures to stop haemorrhage.

Refuse to discuss your plans

Anytime the conversation heads towards your pregnancy and birth choices, steer it away again. If subtle attempts to avoid discussing your choices fail, you can firmly say "We've made an informed decision and it is not open for argument nor debate."

Another variation that some women adapt is to not bring up their birth choice at all, letting family & friends assume what they will, without correcting them!

Lie about your intentions

Not very ideal, but it is an option. You can just say that you intend to labour at home and go to hospital when it is time. And then use the Oops! excuse.

Ask them to support YOU

Again, this may not be ideal for a freebirth if you want those support people present that are against your choice to freebirth. They would bring negative vibes and influences into your birthing environment.

The same goes for support people that are willing to support you in whatever you choose, yet they still feel nervous and anxious about you and your baby's safety. It is best to not have them at your birth either, regardless of how much they want to be there or how much you want them there.

You can always make the decision once you are in labour to invite them there or not.