I was pregnant with my first child. Sure, I was excited about the upcoming birth and getting to see my baby for the first time! That excitement waned however, once all the stories kicked in.

My aunt, my cousin, my friends and even the lady next door, all gave me knowing looks and told me to opt for an epidural as soon as possible. I protested and told them I intended to give birth without any drugs. They laughed and then told me how their births went.

Oh my god. "The worst pain in your entire life", "You'll be begging them to cut you open and get the baby out!", "The crown of fire" and so on. At seeing my horror, they gave me patronising smiles and pats on the back. "It'll be fine, it really doesn't hurt once you get the epidural." They reassured me.

Some reassurement! They all attempted natural births, and failed. I decided to see what other women thought, and got online to ask. So many women replied. One asked "What was the worst pain you've ever experienced in your life?" And I couldn't really think of any horribly painful experiences.

They all said it was going to hurt. It was going to be the most painful experience that I would have ever experienced to date. They reassured me that I could do it and that many other women had done it before. Two women out of all those women told me that birth doesn't have to hurt, but if you believe it will hurt, it probably will. Only two. They were probably one of the lucky ones, I thought at the time!

I looked forward to my child's birth, but no longer with the intense excitement. It had waned and was accompanied by a deep dread for pain. I guess there was a bit of fear in there too. Fear of pain, and that I wouldn't be able to do it. Fear of failing.

Childbirth pain was a fact. Everyone had pain. All the women always screamed on the tv and in the movies. All the women around me had hurt horribly. Resignedly, I accepted that it was going to hurt. I accepted that I might have to get an epidural. I gave up my hopes of really accomplishing a natural birth, but hoping that it might still be possible in some strange twist of fate.

I had a dream. It was so amazing. I gave birth to a little girl, and it did not hurt at all. There was intense pressure but no pain. It was so wonderful and calm. Only in my dreams huh? I shook my head and ignored it and continued on preparing myself for pain.

I allowed myself to be conditioned. I went into my birth, conditioned that it was going to hurt, and lots.

Click here to go back to the article on belief structures.