Belief Structures

One of the most influencing factors in how your birth experience goes for you is your belief structure. Too many women do not realise this, - the thoughts they have, their accepted beliefs, and their social conditioning/conformity does affect their childbirth experience.

I promise I am not talking about that 'out of reach', 'not attainable by the average person', "mind over matter" bullshit. : ) Try telling to a woman that the pain she is feeling is all in her mind. It is not! Try telling to a woman that her traumatic birthing experience was all in her mind! It was not! Try telling the woman who had a pleasurable, orgasmic birth that it did not really happen, it was just in her mind! It was not!

Whatever the woman feels and experiences during her labour and birth is very real for her and it is not just in her mind, it is also in her emotions, her body, her senses, her awareness, her very soul. That is why childbirth is such a profound experience for so many women, regardless of how well or how bad their births went for them. It has the huge potential of healing, as well as damaging. It changes us into mothers in so many ways, obvious, subtle, subliminal.

From an American UC'er, Amyjean:

"I think there is a deep physiological place in a woman's mind that longs for the sensation of birth. It is a completion of the entire act of birth. I feel that the whole event begins with conception, and ends with delivery and recovery. Meaning that from the start of the pregnancy, my body and mind unconciously prepare for the end of the event. I choose to embrace this whole experience and become literally part of my body's naturally expressive self. This can make the birth intense but letting myself become aware and enjoy what is really happening, and this includes the powerfulness of it all, completes me.

Jeannine Pavarti Baker said "We have no legacy of childbirth." We have nothing to compare it to. We have no one to follow in our families, no one personal who can pass down from generation to generation the facts of life. This is a shortcoming in our society and the act of birth has become almost unlearned.
It seems it is up to us to begin again the true journey of birth"

Your Thoughts

Pay attention to them! If there is one thought that keeps resurfacing and disappearing before you really have time to examine it, grab it! It may be important - especially if it is something that keeps echoing like a broken record in the back of your mind.

An example of how a thought affected a belief structure.

Thoughts can also form up into your belief structures, where they are accepted without question and not generally thought about much anymore. They "just are!".

Your thoughts need to be positive and affirming. Your positive and affirming thoughts need to be spoken aloud and reinforced. Don't concede to other's opinions by saying "If its like that.. " etc. Be confident and affirm "I believe that.." or "I know that.." etc.

It is easy for your thoughts to become an "If" instead of a positive affirmation along the lines of "I believe" or "I know" or even "I feel", if you are voicing otherwise to concede to others.

Your Social Conditioning

Social conditioning is all those parts of your belief structure that are there because of popular "truth" or "fact" that exists in your society or culture. So many people have an experience or have a truth that it becomes a standard for everyone.

A prime example of this is pain in childbirth. Let me affirm first that to feel pain in childbirth for whatever reason, is not a failure or diminishment of the birthing in any way. It is more often than not, a perfect achievement of social conditioning and a negative belief structure.

An example of how social conditioning affected a belief structure.

Again, your thoughts and belief structure can be threatened if you are exposed to heavily negative social conditioning. It is a simple thing to turn off the TV if you see a dramatic "unrealistic" birth occuring.

But it is not always easy to do something like that if you are being told horror stories from other women, or are in a discussion with someone that has negative beliefs. This is a problem that many women have, regardless of if they are freebirthing or not.

Your Belief Structure

This is your set of beliefs, and those usually are unquestioned or unexamined because they have become fact, or truth to you. Why would there be a need to query further into a truth if its true and you have no doubts otherwise?

An example of how belief structures affected childbirth experiences.

So how does knowing all this help you? That is easy. Once you realise this, you will come to realise that you are capable of rebuilding your belief structures and thinking positive thoughts.

The actual doing is not always that easy though, and involves a lot of self-reflection and deep thinking. The community forums here are a great place for you to think out your thoughts aloud and get them into perspective for processing. The forums are moderated and you can be assured that you will have the support of many other women and their partners that are going down the same path as yourself.

For those who are not UC'ing, my advice is to surround yourself with positive people that share similar beliefs to yourself. If you feel that those people are us, feel free to join our forums!

An enjoyable birth experience is possible for everyone, and everyone is in charge of their own thoughts, actions, and feelings which do translate into real experiences.