Acknowledging Postpartum Transition
The feelings felt during this phase are quite complex. A mother can both be intensely sad and intensely happy at the same time. She can be deeply grieving the loss of her child within, while feeling joy at the arrival of her child.
Adjusting to breastfeeding a newborn, adjusting to caring for a baby outside the womb, adjusting to connecting with the baby on a different level than previously - all factors that play a part in this transition period. Good support and understanding is essential.
It does nothing for mothers to be told "It's just baby blues" or "It's just hormones". Do not insult a woman so by dismissing her feelings! Give her the respect and acknowledgement that she deserves.
Honor her, listen to her talk about her experiences, her feelings and show support where you can. Take over household and older children tasks so that the woman can focus on herself and her baby.
This is also a very private time for the woman, especially if she is grieving. She may not want to see other people, or play hostess to visitors. She may not want the presence of other people in her house. She may want the courtsey of being left to cry and mourn without being gossiped about how she is not handling motherhood well or has baby blues and is not doing well.
On the contrary, she is handling everything very well by honoring and allowing herself time to experience and go through the post partum transition.
What she needs is support and understanding, not sympathy and pats on the back, dismissing her very true and valid feelings.
Other Resources
Acknowledgement of Postpartum Transition Period by Women
