Imagine a world where childbirth was a sacred event in the family cycle, where the birth of a child was completely free in all senses of the word. We need a new body parable here, sisters. I propose that we are interdependent beings and not "in control" of our bodies. We don’t "own" our bodies – that is the language of economics, taken from the dominator culture. We ARE our bodies. Birth, without the experts in attendance, teaches us to surrender to what-is. We learn core response-ability for our natural female experience. We learn trust in women’s power in its mothering expression.
Jeanine Pavarti Baker – Free Birth Every Mother a Midwife.

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When I first conceived there were 2 things I was sure of; I knew I was carrying a girl, and I knew that I didn’t want to go anywhere near a hospital to birth her. This was going to be my third birth journey; the other 2 had been drug free, relatively intervention free, hospital births.

This time things were different; I had complete confidence in my body’s ability to birth my baby and I knew that the best environment for me to birth would be on my own.  I knew that when birthing I entered a zone and that this time I wanted to create an environment, which supported this mind frame. This, for me, meant no distractions from my birth zone and not being concerned about where I had to go or who was around me.

During my pregnancy I researched unassisted birth and was particularly inspired by the writings of Jeanine Pavarti Baker www.birthkeeper.com. Her essays helped me connect deeply with my feminine power and to understand that birthing energy is both sexual and spiritual.

I realised how we have forgotten that people are mammals and how birth is an instinctive and sexual process. Birth, like sex is not clean and refined, it is wild and unpredictable. It’s difficult to imagine being able to enjoy a peak sexual experience in a hospital room. Bright lights, never knowing who will come through the door next, internal examinations and performing to a pre-determined ideal and schedule. How many of us could “let go” under those conditions? Birth involves all the same organs, hormones and emotions as sex.  Birth is a process of the old brain, and when it is interfered with or observed the process becomes compromised.

With increasing understanding and confidence in unassisted birth I began to research further. I connected online with midwifery discussion groups and read books on midwifery and emergency childbirth.

I was exercising and eating well and confidently managing my own pregnancy. I visited the local medical centre to arrange for a blood test and to get a referral for an ultrasound. With this increased trust I started to announce my plans for an unassisted birth. 

My family and friends received the idea surprisingly well. My husband, Art and my Mum read articles I suggested on unassisted birth and this gave them increased confidence in the idea, which also helped me not to feel so isolated in my decision.

At around 30 weeks I decided to visit the hospital and fill in the admission forms. This was a courtesy visit so that the hospital would have this information if I needed to be admitted in an emergency. This turned out to be a huge mistake.

The admissions midwife was concerned why I was there so late in my pregnancy. Her questions led to me suggesting I was considering an unassisted birth. I could tell she was extremely worried; she had 20 years experience in hospital midwifery and was convinced that a hospital is the safest place to birth. She had no experience with or respect for the natural birthing process. She wanted me to return the next day to see the doctor and I tried to explain that this wasn’t necessary; I just wanted to admit for emergency purposes. She insisted that I must see a doctor for a checkup if I was going to be admitted.

The next day I returned against all my better judgment. I had a really bad feeling, the labour ward seemed so clinical and foreign and so far from all that I wanted for my baby. Machines beeping, nurses talking loudly, strange smells and an anxious feeling in my stomach, I should have listened to my instincts but instead I lined up for my check-up, like a lamb to the slaughter.

While waiting to see the Doctor, the same midwife I had seen the day before, asked me in to her office. We sat down, she in her power position behind her desk and she told me of a new clause from DOCS. It meant that if she felt a mother might be putting her unborn child at risk, she needed to report the incident.

I had flashes of the authorities deeming me an unfit mother, taking my children away from me and forcing me into the hospital to birth my baby. (Not likely I know, but that was how I felt, completely out of control) What had happened to my free birth? I felt trapped. My mind was flashing, connecting me with all the people through the ages who have been persecuted for their beliefs.

She was trying to encourage me to birth in the hospital, she said I could have everything I wanted there and my husband could even catch the baby, she really was genuinely concerned. I promised I would employ a homebirth midwife and went to see the Doctor all shaken and upset.

He told me he was aware of my situation and decided it was his place to bombard me with some more hospital birth horror stories. I was too upset to even look at him. He was insisting on me having a gestational diabetes test and completely ignoring my right to refuse this test. He told me I could not birth in this hospital without this test and I was screaming inside “You’re not listening to me, I don’t want to birth anywhere near your F$%#ing hospital”

I walked out sure I was never going back, not even in an emergency.
I set up a meeting with a local homebirth midwife and we clicked straight away. Sheryl supported my desire to birth unassisted and agreed to see me for the remainder of the pregnancy and to be present at the birth but not actively involved.

I felt a huge weight off my shoulders, the pressure of the authorities were gone and I know had the support of this wonderful lady who had so much experience and respect for the natural birthing process. Over the next two months Sheryl and I developed a close relationship and I was looking forward to her presence at my birth.

On the afternoon of Saturday the 14th of May 2005, my Brakston Hicks began to change. Instead of radiating upwards, they were heading down and I could feel their energy in and around my cervix. I knew that my birth journey had begun. Sheryl arrived for my weekly check up, had one look at me and confirmed that my baby was on her way. She said I had “the look”.  I was filled with excitement and nervous anticipation for the birthing and the baby I would soon have in my arms.

After Sheryl left I had a bath and started to work the acupressure points on my feet and legs, which help to dilate the cervix and regulate contractions. Considering Kym and Zoë had both been born within 6 hours of my first inkling that I was in labour, I thought I would birth the baby that night. However the rushes remained mild and 20-30 minutes apart so I went to bed to rest.  I dozed through the night and the rushes continued like this through the morning.

I cleaned the house and the children helped me to bake a birthday cake for the baby. Every time the energy of a rush was approaching, I stopped what I was doing and welcomed the feeling through my body, visualising my cervix opening and my baby girl preparing for her journey. 

I set up my birth room, candles, music, crystals, and lots of old towels and clothes for the baby and I; I was ready. Around 4pm I had another bath and decided to use the pressure points more regularly and move things along. After the bath my rushes were becoming closer together and more intense. I shut myself in my room, lit my candles and essential oil burner, turned on the music and lay on the bed, where I drifted off into my birthing zone.

As each rush came over my body I visualised myself floating over a big wave, as the energy increased I floated up the wave and was carried down the other side as the energy decreased. I felt my body opening to the process and remembered just how intense the feelings of birth are.

I was slightly distracted by thoughts of when to call Sheryl and at 6.45 Art came in with the phone, suggesting I call her. I told Sheryl that my contractions were around 8 minutes apart, but sporadic and I probably had close to 2 hours to go. She asked if I could talk during contractions and I said probably not. She said she would finish her dinner and head down; she was 30 minutes drive away. Art asked if it would be Ok for him to pop down the road to buy some champagne, a 15 min round trip, and I said sure.

I decided to have a bath. As I walked I felt intense pressure in the birth canal and rushes of energy over my whole body. I made it to the toilet just in time for my waters to explode with another wave of intense energy. I put my hand down and felt her head crowning and realised I was having this baby, right now! I threw a towel on the ground and fell down on my hands and knees as another powerful peak of energy passed and her head emerged.

Gently I touched her head and felt her dark, soft hair and celebrated that she was here. I felt extremely calm and in control, there was not a moment that I doubted myself and my ability to bring her safely into this world. Just as the next wave was approaching I heard the door open, I called to Art, “The baby is coming now! ”He arrived at the bathroom door just as I was leaning back on my knees and birthing her into my arms.

I lay her down on the towel and Art helped me to unravel the cord from her shoulder. Art said, “It’s a girl!” and I smiled and said, ”I know”, looking to see for the first time what I already knew. “Is it Sky?” I asked, and Art agreed, Sky Cartwright was here.

Art helped me with Sky, into the bedroom and while waiting for Sheryl to arrive I realised that not a sound had come from me during this birth. With my other two, I had screamed, deep, primal sounds, unlike any that had come from me before. This birth in contrast, felt so calm and right. I filled with awe, I had known that the ultimate environment for me to birth was alone, and the moment that I was, my body and my baby chose this time to birth.

I had decided to birth the placenta before clamping and cutting the cord. Sheryl arrived with a huge smile announcing, ”You are amazing!” Soon after the placenta came and Sheryl showed us the wonder that beholds this incredible organ. I observed Sky with her placenta, this precious part of her, which accompanied her for the last 9 months in my womb, and shed a tear for the miracle before me.

When most of the blood had drained from the cord we tied it with a piece of string, Art then cut it. He took the placenta to the kitchen for a wash and put it in the freezer. My children were almost as pleased with the placenta as they were with their newborn sister and they proudly showed it to all our guests. A few weeks after the birth we had a ceremony where we planted the placenta under a tree fern in our garden.

Kym and Zoë were disappointed to have missed the birth but this was soon forgotten when we all sang “Happy Birth Day” for Sky and shared some cake. I feel so fulfilled that I was able to give my family this precious gift of Free Birth. That Sky was born surrounded by family and love, into her mothers arms instead of the plastic gloves of a stranger.

I am proud of Art who protected my privacy and guided our children through the process rather than standing back in the hospital, surrounded by all the technology and so called “experts”.  I hope that my girls will leave the hospitals for the sick and dying, and claim their sovereignty by experiencing the passion and power of Free Birth.